Where can I get more coins? Work, gifts and allowances

Walking home from the park yesterday evening, I asked Lasse about the money in his piggy bank — he now has somewhere around 12$. As we rounded a corner, the deep smell of lilacs almost overwhelming, dogs barking all around, I reminded him of the concepts of saving and spending we've been talking about on a regular basis. What, I asked, was he thinking about doing with his money? After all, summer is here and the world feels wide open. Lasse, his hair wet from running through the splash pad, replied that he didn't want to spend any of his money soon; rather, he wanted to save it and have it grow until he had enough to buy a big Lego kit. From his words, it was clear that he had understood some of what we’ve been discussing.

But this leads to another question: if he now has 12$ and a "big Lego kit" costs anywhere from 35$ (plus tax) and up, just how is he going to get the missing funds? He had thought of this problem, too, and brought it up as we strolled along one of the lanes in our neighbourhood, where puddles dot the pavement and summer hostas and tall lilies lean over and brush your legs as you walk. Where can I get more coins, he asked?

Lasse's 12$ is the accumulation of the coins we have given to him to help him learn, as well as a few coins slipped to him by his granny. We don’t have an organised or formal way for him to gain money. How do children get money? Typically, from work, gifts or an allowance. I see all three of these options, however, with some trepidation. 

Work

Whilst work is a good option for older children to gain money (and experience, and responsibility, and a feeling for what it means to work), it does not strike us as viable for Lasse at age five. Despite his desire to work at daddy’s office, it won’t happen anytime soon (what exactly his fascination with the office is, I am not sure — I think it's the row of flags flapping in the wind outside). And we do not want to pay him to work around the house — for example, to wash the car or set the table or clean his room — since, in our view, we are all contributing members of a family and we ought to work together to keep our house and our things in good order, to clean, and to make meals. These are, to us, actions we take because we are part of a family that cares for what it has, and should not be compensated with money.

Gifts

My main concern about gift money is that it is sporadic and unpredictable, and hence has less meaning when it comes to saving, growth and goals. Money received at birthdays and the Christmas holidays does not help build a sense of regularity or regular growth. And, for us, since Lasse does not receive money as a gift (either from us or from relatives), it is moot altogether. (Grandparents do give us much appreciated contributions for his RESP education fund, but that is a separate story.)

Allowance

And so we come to the allowance. Allowances avoid most of the problems outlined above, and, as such, are currently my preferred choice. That said, there are a few issues that make me pause. The first is whether an allowance should be accountable or not. Many families tie allowances to behaviour or chores, which, again, I would like to avoid. The second is the age-old question of how much. In essence, I want Lasse to be able to save a reasonable amount in a reasonable period of time so that it is meaningful (i.e., big enough for him to be able to buy something if he so chooses), but not too big. I am, apparently, the Goldilocks of allowances: not too big and not too small. 

We are leaning towards starting an allowance for Lasse this summer, but first we need to think more about the next logical question: if he is getting money regularly, even two dollars a week, what exactly is it that we want him to do with it and to learn from it? Stay tuned!



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